The Power of the Ask

Recognizing & Escaping Financial Abuse with Mayra Alejandra Garcia of Debt Free Latina

• Season 1 • Episode 13

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In recognition of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, this episode of the Savvy Ladies Power the Ask podcast focuses on the often-overlooked issue of financial abuse. We rarely hear about it, but it's a devastating reality for many — and often intertwined with physical and emotional abuse.

Join us as we welcome back Mayra Alejandra Garcia of Debt-Free Latina, a certified financial coach who achieved financial independence overcoming $21,000 in debt. Get ready for a candid conversation about:

  • Understanding Financial Abuse: Learn to recognize the red flags and subtle signs of financial abuse, whether you're married or in a committed partnership.
  • Finding Support: Discover how to break free from the cycle of abuse, seek help from professionals, and regain control of your financial life.
  • Empowerment Through Financial Literacy: Understand why financial knowledge is crucial for women, providing the confidence and tools to ask for what we need and deserve.

If you or someone you know is experiencing financial abuse, you're not alone. Savvy Ladies is here to help, offering resources and support to empower you on your journey to financial freedom.

About Mayra Alejandra García:

Mayra Alejandra García was born and grew up in East Los Angeles, CA. She moved to Laveen, AZ, a Phoenix suburb, with her husband and two children and started living the American dream, including getting into debt. By 2010, her family had credit card debt, student loans, two car loans and a house they couldn’t afford. Mayra got serious and developed a budget and strategic plan. They sold their house and moved into a small apartment, and within 17 months they had paid everything off. They were then able to purchase their current home with a 20% down payment and a 15-year mortgage. With hard work and by following a budget, Mayra transformed her life from significant debt to financial expertise. Living debt-free has increased their net worth and given them financial independence. In 2017, Mayra was able to leave her career in media and train as a certified financial coach. She’s been teaching determined individuals and families how to organize their finances and become debt free with practical strategies ever since.


Important Links:
Savvy Ladies
Precious Williams' LinkedIn
Lisa Zeiderman's LinkedIn
Mayra Alejandra García LinkedIn

Lisa Zeiderman (00:08.113)

Welcome everyone to the power of the Ask Podcast, the podcast that helps you get what you need financially and personally. We are so glad that you're here with us today. My name is Lisa Ziderman. I am managing partner of Miller Ziderman and I'm one of the co -hosts with my dear friend, Precious Williams. So Precious, take it away.


Precious LaTonia Williams (00:29.889)

And I'm Precious Williams, the killer pitch master and the CEO of the Perfect Pitch Group. And welcome back. This week, we're excited, so excited to welcome back Myra Alejandro Garcia of Debt Free Latina and the host of Debt Free Latina podcast. This week, we're going to take a deep dive into discussing financial abuse for the month of October, which is national domestic violence awareness month. I'm going to give you a little taste of her bio.

So Myra Alejandro Garcia, originally from East Los Angeles and now based in Levine, Arizona, turned her life around from significant debt to financial expertise. After her family cleared $21 ,000 in debt in 17 months. Yes, it can be done. They downsized, they saved and eventually bought a home with 20 % down payment and a 15 year loan. Did y 'all hear that?

Now debt -free and financially independent, Myra has been a certified financial coach since 2017, sharing her expertise with others. Welcome back, Myra. Give the audience just a little reminder of who you are and what Debt -Free Latina is.


Mayra Garcia (01:41.855)

Yes, thank you so much for having me back. So Debt Free Latina is a platform where people come to learn about financial literacy skills that were never taught to us growing up.


Lisa Zeiderman (01:56.007)

So you know, Myra, that this entire organization, Savvy Ladies, was founded by Stacey Francis. Stacey is a dear friend of mine and a colleague. And the reason that she actually founded this organization was Stacey had witnessed her own grandmother going through financial abuse and just abuse generally, physically and emotionally. And for Stacey, this is her give back because although her grandmother was able to, she was, you know, she had the means, frankly, she had the means, she didn't have the control. And when I say the control, she didn't have the control of the money, of the finances. And as a result of that, she suffered from a lot of abuse and frankly, abuse that eventually pushed her to her death. And so for Stacey, this organization, which started about 21 years ago, I guess now, right, 21 years ago,


Precious LaTonia Williams (02:54.084)

Yeah.


Lisa Zeiderman (02:55.621)

with stacy's get back over all these years to her grandmother and is in memory of her grandmother and what her grandmother suffered through so in in terms of that you know this whole issue of financial abuse is very real to what we do here


Mayra Garcia (03:14.561)

Yes, it's very common, unfortunately.


Lisa Zeiderman (03:20.519)

It certainly is, unfortunately. It certainly is. So what are the ways that you would define the various ways financial abuse can happen?


Mayra Garcia (03:32.589)

So financial abuse usually happens very subtly. It starts very slow. And it can happen with people with different socioeconomic backgrounds. It does not discriminate. And it starts with what I've noticed is the pattern of it's usually women that are abused. usually women want have this. It starts with women want.


to be taken care of. And, you know, maybe they've had a pattern of always being the caregiver in their family. And now that they're married and have a spouse and have the means they want to just feel cared for. It does not happen, you know, bluntly. It's very subtle. And then slowly, they start not having the ability to see things here and there. And at first it's like, I'm feeling, you know, I'm being taken care of, it's not a big deal. And then slowly the spouse at times will take advantage of that trust and will maybe not include their spouse in conversations about how money is being spent or invested and so on. So, It's very subtle and then all of a sudden when things aren't going well and the other party takes advantage, it blows up. And then there's where a lot of the conflict starts.


Precious LaTonia Williams (05:00.002)

Mm -hmm.


Precious LaTonia Williams (05:08.653)

I really love that we're talking about this during domestic violence awareness month. We often hear about physical abuse and emotional abuse. Rarely do we hear about financial abuse. So this is so appropriate for the Savvy Ladies Power the Ass podcast. Queen Myra, I would love for you, if possible, is to share with us some real life examples that illustrate what is financial abuse.

We'd love for you to do that because I don't think people really understand it until you give those real world examples so they can see themselves as the victim and learn what to do next.


Mayra Garcia (05:46.049)

Well, first I would say if you just a couple of red flags, if you don't know how much your spouse earns, if you don't know about certain purchases that are happening or investments that you may be involved in, if you here's the biggest one, if you do not have the username and passwords for everything regarding your family. As far as bank accounts, where you pay your power bill, all of those things, you should have username and passwords for everything.


Lisa Zeiderman (06:29.415)

So, you know, I'm going to say a few things. You brought up several examples, but you also talked earlier about how women get themselves into this situation because they want to be taken care of in some ways. My experience is a little different. And so I'm going to ask you to think about this and consider this. I think that women are caring for others.


Precious LaTonia Williams (06:49.593)

Mm -hmm.


Lisa Zeiderman (06:56.231)

and then get themself into this situation. So they are so busy caring for their children or their spouse or their elderly parents or stepchildren or any of those people in their lives that are really important people in their lives, their family essentially, right? And then they find themselves in a situation where they don't have a job and they aren't the earners.

Okay they don't have that trajectory for career development and so they don't have essentially a future a financial future to look forward to and they become essentially I would say almost prey for financial abuse because of that. you agree with that?


Precious LaTonia Williams (07:44.932)

Yep.


Mayra Garcia (07:49.453)

would say that is another pattern too that I've seen. I've worked with a lot of families that are two income earners. There's two income earners in the home. So it's rare to come across a family. I really don't have many families that have stayed home moms, but I can see that. I can see that happening too.


Lisa Zeiderman (08:08.711)

And I'm just going to follow up with how can, and I'm not going to call them victims, I'm going to call them survivors, okay? So how can survivors of financial abuse, essentially, how can they seek help or support? What do they have to do? What can they do so that they aren't feeling as trapped? I mean, I'm talking about women who can't even get childcare so that they can go out of...


Mayra Garcia (08:15.757)

Mm


Lisa Zeiderman (08:37.073)

go to work because they don't have the support. literally may be putting them on allowance and the allowance is too low for them to actually go out and get the child care that they need.


Mayra Garcia (08:48.641)

Yeah, I think that's where, you know, you really need to seek professional help as far as like therapy and really learning to have a voice. I find that a lot of these women are scared. They have some sort of fear they cannot, they know that even if they speak up, they're not going to be listened to. So they have to find this courage that only they can process by maybe processing some of their past trauma and processing how they got to that place. And so until you have somebody, get a therapist, right? That would help you learn to gain that voice back and that courage that you need to really process a situation like this. It's very hard to do it on your own.


Precious LaTonia Williams (09:44.193)

I certainly agree with that. And coming from the other side of the tracks, I want to make sure that our listeners understand sometimes people aren't married. Sometimes they've been with a partner for years. Sometimes the way the families are set up is the woman is not supposed to know any of these things. Not saying she's stay at home mom, but her money might be going to her partner who is not.

Telling her any of these sort of things because that's the way it may work in their community or just in their background. so I definitely want to make sure that if you aren't in this, if you aren't in a marriage, but you're in a partnership, you may come from the other side of the tracks. You may not have ever been taught any of this to even recognize this, that the women who come to savvy ladies also understand that we're not making this a class issue.

But this is definitely something that can happen to anyone. And I want you to feel safe in understanding that Savvy Ladies is talking to you too, because a lot of us, where we are today is not where we started. And so to dive a little bit deeper outside of these steps and support, what role do financial institutions and advisors play in actually understanding, preventing, and addressing financial abuse?


Mayra Garcia (11:08.525)

I think that it would be great for financial institutions and financial advisors to, if you know that whoever's coming to you for help and guidance is married or has a significant partner, that you ask, are they involved? Can they come with you? Can you get, know, and so really showing the support. To that other spouse, right? That might not be in the conversations. But if you know that they're married, especially if they're married, you should make it a point to mention, hey, your spouse should come too.


Lisa Zeiderman (11:50.095)

And you know, it's interesting. So I remember years ago going to an attorney for estate planning. My husband and I were first married. And we went to an attorney for estate planning and she said, I'm not going to do anything. And at that point, my husband was the more moneyed spouse. And she said, I'm not going to do anything without Lisa knowing and Lisa's approval. And I think that it's up to some of the financial advisors out there. Io step up in terms of that and make sure that if there is a partner, as Precious said, okay, spouse, partner, whatever your relationship is, if your relationship involves money, okay, then, and you're with a financial advisor, I think it's really important that that financial advisor be meeting with both of you. And not just one, not just like saying, hey, you know, should bring your partner along next time. but making it much more of a demand frankly, okay, that if I'm going to be representing both of you, then you both need to be in my office or on a Zoom or whatever it is. So I think it's really important. As a professional, okay, how do you see financial abuse having long -term impact on the abused via


Precious LaTonia Williams (12:51.141)

me.


Mayra Garcia (12:52.919)

Mm


Lisa Zeiderman (13:16.677)

Financial stability, emotional well -being, what is it that you see?


Mayra Garcia (13:23.605)

I see that there's a learning curve that is very hard to navigate. And that's where I feel like women, especially women that are in this situation really need to partner with someone that will guide them through the steps of how to get organized and how to ask for things, know your numbers, but.


It's very hard to do that when there's a lot of fear. There's a lot of fear. And that's what I've seen. That's the pattern. As a financial coach, when I have single women reach out, that's been actually the most common scenario.


Precious LaTonia Williams (14:07.565)

That's why I really love the work we're doing with Savvy Ladies and having an incredible guest like you. you know, illuminating things that people really wouldn't know. I know I have struggled with money, being an entrepreneur, leaving the... As attorneys, I've never seen a nine to five attorney. Maybe they exist, but I didn't. I certainly didn't see that. But what are some of the ways that, you know, family and friends If they see that their loved one is experiencing financial abuse, what are some of the ways that they can help? Some real actionable steps.


Mayra Garcia (14:45.293)

First and foremost, you have to show this unconditional love and support and just be a listening ear. And this person is most likely going to repeat themselves over and over and just try to process what is happening. When you're in the middle of a crisis, sometimes you just need to let that person speak their mind.

And again, the pattern I've seen is they'll repeat themselves and repeat, like they're processing the trauma, they're processing the crisis and they're finding that voice. And so if you do, if you're in that situation, find somebody that you trust, that you know is doing well in a partnership with their spouse or their significant other, as far as money, you see the relationship is stable, lean to them for the guidance forhow do you find the words or how do you ask questions and really find that courage and support because you need to find that. It's very hard to do this alone.


Lisa Zeiderman (15:54.791)

So I think that's 100 % correct that it is hard to do it alone. So, know, Precious, you mentioned earlier that you may be in a situation where you're not married and you're giving... Well, you're not married, okay, but where someone who isn't married is being financially abused, okay? And so we definitely have to acknowledge that financial abuse applies to people who are married and unmarried. There's no question about that.


Precious LaTonia Williams (16:06.531)

I'm not, it's not a may not, I'm not married.


Precious LaTonia Williams (16:14.468)

Yes.


Lisa Zeiderman (16:25.073)

But the laws are different in terms of what your obligation is in terms of sharing money. And as a matrimonial attorney, I know that, right? So in New York state, for example, right? If you're not married and you're sharing bank accounts or you're giving your money over to somebody and they're putting it in their account, that is a very different thing than if you are married. And I think that it's really important that people who are either believe that they are being financially abused because along with financial abuse often comes emotional abuse and verbal abuse and physical abuse, right? So if that is what is happening, if you don't have the account numbers as you said, right? And you don't have the access and you don't know how much is in the accounts and you can't, you your passwords have been changed or you are being put on like an allowance or not really being given any money. If all these things are happening, right?


Precious LaTonia Williams (16:59.023)

Come on now.


Lisa Zeiderman (17:21.379)

If you feel you are being blocked in, okay, literally and maybe physically, okay, at times, then you need to start thinking about who you need to speak to other than family and friends. And I think that attorneys—okay, you need to find one. If you can't afford an attorney, then go to a legal aid society. If you can't afford an attorney, call savvy ladies on their helpline.


Precious LaTonia Williams (17:42.629)

Come on.


Lisa Zeiderman (17:47.527)

They will help pair you with a financial advisor. Okay, or a financial professional who can help you there are places to go Okay, hotlines, etc that you can call and that your information will be confidential You also need to where you can start to gather as much financial records as possible So maybe there's there there is money Maybe there's not okay, but to the extent that you don't really know or understand the information, then gather everything that you can, get copies of it, put it back to where it was, okay, so that nobody really knows that you took it. Make sure you get the copies. Get the copies to a safe place, a friend, a family member to hold onto. Make sure that your own email, okay, that you maybe, you you need to leave your email alone so that somebody...

Who's going on to it? You can see it, but maybe you need to also start a new email with a new password so that you can feel safe, okay? There's lots of pointers, and I think it's a place that people can call into savvyladies .com and get some of those pointers for how to deal with this emotional, financial, and sometimes physical abuse. Obviously be safe, okay? You need to be safe. Is the key to everything, physically safe. And if you really feel physically unsafe, okay, then you need to figure out a way to leave, okay? So, you know, sometimes people start accounts and they start to put a little bit of money, you know, they take a little bit money out of whatever allowance they're getting or whatever, you know, money they may be earning and they put it to the side. So they essentially have that safety account to be able to go and get their first consult with an attorney or with a therapist or with somebody.


Precious LaTonia Williams (19:39.423)

Amazing, amazing actionable tips, my queen Lisa.


Lisa Zeiderman (19:46.343)

Did you want to jump in, Myra?


Mayra Garcia (19:48.425)

I did. So one of the something I saw as also was that the control is so strong that the spouse that's abusing will watch the who you call who who you're texting. And so if you have the ability to lean on somebody you trust in your family to get you another cell phone. That is


Precious LaTonia Williams (20:14.489)

Mmm.


Mayra Garcia (20:17.213)

Very like useful and helpful in this situation.


Precious LaTonia Williams (20:23.599)

What an illuminating educational conversation about something that most people don't even talk about. Myra, Queen Myra, as we begin to end this amazing podcast on this amazing topic, we ask a question of all of our guests. Why is the power of the ask so important, so critically important to women, especially financially? Why is it so critical today?


Mayra Garcia (20:54.827)

because it empowers you to grow, learn and expand in your financial literacy.


Precious LaTonia Williams (21:07.309)

We thank you so much for being. A great second time. Second time you brought it again. We're so thankful to have you. And as you all know, keep coming back to the Power of the Ass podcast powered by Savvy Ladies, my wonderful, my beautiful, talented co -host Lisa Ziderman and me, Precious Williams, the killer pitch master. We are so proud to be board members of Savvy Ladies and also to bring you this podcast. Keep coming back. It gets better and better and better. And also subscribe and tell a friend to tell a friend to what? Tell a friend. For coming, subscribe and you know what to do. Thank you all so very much.


Mayra Garcia (21:44.535)

Thank you.

Lisa Zeiderman (21:45.063)

Thanks everyone.