Leading With Confidence and Compassion: The Lisa Zeiderman Story Artwork

The Power of the Ask

Discover the art of asking the right questions to own every room, be intentional in your pursuit, and build the best version of yourself.

It's time to stop waiting for permission and start asking for what you deserve. The “Power of the Ask” is your dose of no-nonsense guidance and actionable advice to master your finances, skyrocket your career, and find your inner strength.

Join the Savvy Ladies Lisa Zeiderman and Precious Williams as they equip you with the questions that unlock doors, shatter glass ceilings, and unlock your full potential. No more holding back, no more second-guessing. The “Power of the Ask” is your launchpad to a life where you own your power, ask for what you want, and take charge to get it. Ready to take the ask? Hit subscribe and let's get moving!

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The Power of the Ask

Leading With Confidence and Compassion: The Lisa Zeiderman Story

January 03, 2025 • Season 1 • Episode 18

Get ready for more candid conversations and empowering advice on the Power of the Ask Podcast! Join co-hosts Lisa Zeiderman and Precious Williams for a unique episode where they step into the spotlight and share their personal journeys!

In this episode, it’s Lisa’s turn to open up. She shares her journey from her independent spirit as a young woman making it on her own (at the age of 18!) in the fashion industry to becoming a leading matrimonial and family law attorney. Lisa discusses navigating divorce, raising a family, going back to school to earn her law degree, and ultimately building one of the largest matrimonial law firms in New York. She reveals the key moments and pivotal “asks” that shaped her trajectory. Lisa also emphasizes the importance of self-reflection, setting priorities, and advocating for yourself and others, especially when it comes to financial matters.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to:

Cultivate Confidence: Discover how Lisa’s personal style contributes to her success.
Ask Strategically: Hear her insights on timing, consideration, and giving back.
Overcome Rejection: Lisa shares how she handles setbacks and keeps moving forward.

Achieve Financial Empowerment: Understand why asking is crucial for women’s financial well-being.
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About Lisa:

Lisa Zeiderman is Managing Partner at Miller Zeiderman LLP, based in New York. A matrimonial attorney, CFL and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, she regularly handles complex financial and custody divorce matters, as well as pre- and post-nuptial agreements for high-net-worth individuals.

Named to the Crain’s New York list of Notable Woman Attorneys for 2022, as well as a Crain’s New York Notable Diverse Lawyer for 2022, a Hudson Valley Best Lawyer in 2023, a 2021 Best Family Law Attorney for Client Satisfaction by the American Institute of Family Law Attorneys, among many other awards, Lisa is a founding member of the American Academy of Certified Financial Litigators and a member of the panel for Attorneys for Children. Lisa is also a member of the Forbes Business Council.

In addition to authoring a well-read blog on Psychology Today, “Legal Matters: Understanding Mental Health Issues as They Apply to Divorce and Child Custody,” Ms. Zeiderman is regularly published in Financial Advisor Magazine, the New York Law Journal, and by the Forbes Business Council. She is also interviewed on issues ranging from financial empowerment to tax issues to child custody in a host of media ranging from The Wall Street Journal to PEOPLE Magazine.

Ms. Zeiderman, a Fordham University of Law graduate, also serves as the Vice President of the executive board of Savvy Ladies, Inc., and on the board of Family Legal Care (formerly known as LIFT, Legal Information for Families Today).

Important Links:
Savvy Ladies
Precious Williams' LinkedIn
Lisa Zeiderman's LinkedIn

Precious L. Williams (29:32.379)

All right, Queen Lisa. Ever since I've met you, I've been so blessed by you. You are a shining example of hope and inspiration, but also love, and also being deadly in the courtroom, deadly in depositions, deadly. I'd like for you to share with our audience, tell us about your story.

Lisa Zeiderman (29:59.709)

So I was born very middle class family in Long Island, New York. And I was actually born in Brooklyn, but then we moved to Long Island. Right. Fiercely independent as a child, I probably drove my parents absolutely mad. And at about 17 or 18 years old, I decided that I wanted to really strike out on my own and go into the fashion business.

Precious L. Williams (29:59.854)

So. Mm-hmm.

Precious L. Williams (30:09.389)

Understood?

Lisa Zeiderman (30:28.975)

And my parents had a different idea for me. My parents wanted me to, you know, go on and go to college and go to medical school. And by the way, in retrospect, they might've been right, but I would, that's a long way back now. And so for many years, I would say most of my life really, I didn't have really a relationship with my parents because they were so fixated on what they thought that I should do. And I was so fixated on what I wanted to do.

Precious L. Williams (30:58.363)

OOOOHHHHHH

Lisa Zeiderman (31:00.019)

And that was who I was, right? So I very early on went into the fashion business, worked for Macy's New York as a sales manager part-time, went onto 7th Avenue and worked for a very large manufacturer. And I did that for many years and got my first apartment in Manhattan and supported myself. By the time I was 18, 19, I was living on my own. Wasn't getting any monetary support from my family and had to figure out how to pay the rent, how to make the bills, how to deal with, you know, when all those kinds of things. And then at some point got, got married, and adopted a child. My daughter, Montana, who's now 33 and is going to have a baby. which is very exciting. And, but.

Precious L. Williams (31:46.107)

Yes.

Lisa Zeiderman (31:52.391)

Then got divorced. And as I was going through my divorce, I decided that I wanted to make a change from the fashion industry to actually going to law school. But I first had to go back and actually get my bachelor degree. And so I now had a child. I was kind of getting through my divorce and decided that I was going to go back, my bachelor degree, finished.

Precious L. Williams (32:10.767)

Yeah.

Lisa Zeiderman (32:20.039)

Finished that and I did at Fordham University, I got a BA there, and then went on to law school at Fordham University of School of Law, and decided that I was going to head into matrimonial law. That was going to be my focus matrimonial and family law, because that's really how I got interested in it in the first place was going through my own divorce, and thought I could be really great, frankly, at this, I had the ability to negotiate.

Precious L. Williams (32:29.275)

Next

Precious L. Williams (32:41.947)

Really?

Lisa Zeiderman (32:48.679)

That a lot of people don't have when they're coming out of law school because they had been negotiating on Seventh Avenue, frankly, for this major retailers, their markdown money, their returns, the goods are great on December 31st, but no longer on January 1st. The earthquake comes and all the goods have to go back. It's all of those things, right? I lived through all of that. And so...

I decided that I was going to really get into litigation and I wanted to handle complex cases, both custody and financial. And in 2013, I started MyPractice and MyPractice is now about 50 people. It's one of the largest firms focused on matrimonial and family law in New York. And we do great work for high stakes.

Custody and financial litigation. And we have an amazing team and I have learned how to run a company and build a company. And it's been a great ride, frankly. It's been an amazing ride and we do great work. So, you we care about our clients, we're responsive to our clients and we have learned how to be, you know, I think very strong litigators.

And that is really my story. I am married 27 years now. It'll be 27 years actually in February, married to a fabulous man who is the love of my life and who I actually met. like do a little background now. Met him when I was 20 and he was kind of, you know, very charismatic kind of guy. And then he

Precious L. Williams (34:23.899)

See you later.

Lisa Zeiderman (34:41.789)

We had been married already, didn't want to get married again. And so I said, okay, I'm out of this. And then went on to get married to someone else and ended up finding him again. And we got married and we have had the most amazing life together that anyone could have. So I am extremely, extremely grateful for that life together. And for our relationship that is, I think, extraordinary.

Kind of my he's not just my soulmate, you know, people say that all the time precious but somebody said to me he that we literally have two bodies with one brain and I would say that that so describes us We we wake up in the morning. We have an idea. It's the same idea side we're gonna do something or Change something in our lives. We both woke up at the same time and had that idea. And it's amazing to have that in a life partner. And he has always been first and foremost in my life. And that's my story.

Precious L. Williams (35:54.171)

Now I just learned some things that I did, some things about your background that I didn't know. Babe, you've been a true negotiator, litigator since you were a teenager. Like how does someone get their first apartment, you know, know what to do and then decide, you know what? And then your story with your first husband versus your second husband.

Going back to law, go going back to get your bachelor's cause you didn't have it, but you had all these great skillsets going to law school and decided I want to do the complex matrimonial law. I'm like, so she already likes the hard stuff. Cause this is that, that, Ooh, that does something for me. Thank you for sharing that. And also the love I heard. And I always feel like when we're at events and you go home, you're like, I'm going home to the man that I love. Thank y'all. It's been great.

I'm one of the men loving it. That's why I respect you so much. The curly hair, the fashions, she's all that.

Lisa Zeiderman (36:55.229)

Well, you're right. I think that people have to have priorities. Certainly my business is a major priority, but my husband is my biggest priority.

Precious L. Williams (36:59.46)

Yes!

Precious L. Williams (37:05.409)

And we see it. That's why I say I love you for that. Cause I've never had that. So when I say this, y'all, I'm saying it from experience. When she leaves, she, she shows the love, but she's going home to the man that she loves. That means she's done every priority thing that day, but the biggest is at home. So, Queen, I kind of want to talk about like a pivotal ask that you had to do. And we know that everything you asked for, you're not going to get.

But what was a powerful ask that you decided to make? No guarantees that changed the trajectory of your life.

Lisa Zeiderman (37:44.723)

Okay, so this is highly, highly personal, okay? And most people never hear this part of my story, okay? But I am going to share it with you. It really was probably the most powerful ask that I've ever made and it truly changed my entire life. And it resulted with my fabulous husband. So when I was 20, I actually was at a restaurant called One Fifth Avenue.

Precious L. Williams (37:48.976)

I love this!

Precious L. Williams (37:54.789)

Please.

Lisa Zeiderman (38:13.459)

And I was with two friends who were working in the fashion industry with me. And we were all sitting there and my now husband walked over to the table and he asked for a date with my then friend. And I'm thinking this guy is so cool. Like I wish he would have asked me, right? And she's hemming and harring and not sure that she wants to do this. And I said, go out with him.

Precious L. Williams (29:32.379)

Lisa Zeiderman (29:59.709)

Precious L. Williams (29:59.854)

So. Mm-hmm.

Precious L. Williams (30:09.389)

Understood?

Lisa Zeiderman (30:28.975)

Precious L. Williams (30:58.363)

OOOOHHHH

Lisa Zeiderman (31:00.019)

Wasn't getting any monetary support from my family and had to figure out how to pay the rent, how to make the bills, how to deal with, you know, when all those kinds of things. And then at some point got, got married, and adopted a child. My daughter, Montana, who's now 33 and is going to have a baby. which is very exciting. And, but.

Precious L. Williams (31:46.107)

Yes.

Lisa Zeiderman (31:52.391)

Precious L. Williams (32:10.767)

Yeah.

Lisa Zeiderman (32:20.039)

Precious L. Williams (32:29.275)

Precious L. Williams (32:41.947)

Really?

Lisa Zeiderman (32:48.679)

Precious L. Williams (34:23.899)

See you later.

Lisa Zeiderman (34:41.789)

Precious L. Williams (35:33.722)

Yep.

Lisa Zeiderman (35:42.095)

And it's amazing to have that in a life partner. And he has always been first and foremost in my life. And that's my story.

Precious L. Williams (35:54.171)

I'm one of the men loving it. That's why I respect you so much. The curly hair, the fashions, she's all that.

Lisa Zeiderman (36:55.229)

Well, you're right. I think that people have to have priorities. Certainly my business is a major priority, but my husband is my biggest priority.

Precious L. Williams (36:59.46)

Precious L. Williams (37:05.409)

But what was a powerful ask that you decided to make? No guarantees that changed the trajectory of your life.

Lisa Zeiderman (37:44.723)

Precious L. Williams (37:48.976)

I love this!

Precious L. Williams (37:54.789)

Please.

Lisa Zeiderman (38:13.459)

Precious L. Williams (38:34.544)

Yeah.

Lisa Zeiderman (38:42.429)

She goes out with him and she says, he is just not for me. And she said, you would probably really like him. said, you know what, give me his number. And I was 20, right? And so I did, I called him and I said, I know you went out, you know, with so and so, and I'd really like to go out with you. And of course he said yes.

And we went out and we had a relationship for several years at that point. And as I said, he did not want to get married. He had been married, I think, many years prior. And we have an age difference between us. And so we dated for about two or three years. And then that was it. And then we remet. And then it was really up to him to ask. And he asked and he asked and he asked and he asked and he asked. And finally I did get divorced.

And finally we got together. And 27 years later, last year I asked him again to marry me. He asked me to marry him again. And here we are. So I would say it was really the courage to, I knew the minute I saw him, I will tell you this, the minute I saw him the first time, I knew he was gonna be my husband. There was no question about it. I knew he was gonna be my husband. And I remember saying this, to the two women I was with and they said, you're just like out of your mind. And I said, no, he is the one. So, and he turned out to be the one.

Precious L. Williams (40:16.697)

I'm Clutchard Imaginary Pearls. I'm for Climp. What an amazing story about the power of the ask and that y'all still ask each other 27 years later and the clarity and vision you had when you saw him.

Precious L. Williams (40:36.571)

No ask has a guarantee.

Precious L. Williams (40:45.219)

Many of us have had rejection, something we really wanted, something that we really went out for, something that we thought we had stacked, we stacked the deck to get it.

Has rejection ever showed up for you? And if it has, what did it teach you about life, career, and relationships?

Lisa Zeiderman (41:02.589)

Sure.

Lisa Zeiderman (41:10.429)

So look, I'm a litigator. We most of our cases, but we lose them, right? We lose them. That's rejection, okay? I mean, it happens, right? And when you actually have that loss, you have to pick yourself up and figure out how to make it better for the person that you were advocating for. Not everything is smooth, and every day there are issues. When you run your own business, you know this, Precious, it's tough.

Precious L. Williams (41:14.831)

Come on now! Come on!

Lisa Zeiderman (41:39.911)

Right? You're going to have problems. You're going to have difficulties. You know, you're building client relationships, but you're also trying to guide people through their difficult times. What we do, I think is the most, one of the most stressful jobs that you can have, which is to be guiding people through issues about their children and their finances. There's no greater stress points than those. know, children and money, it doesn't get any more stressful. So you're going to have,

Precious L. Williams (42:08.015)

Come here.

Lisa Zeiderman (42:09.747)

Moments where I'm not sure that I would say rejection, but you're not going to prevail all the time, right? And so there's going to be those days that are like loser days. And, you know, you got to take your wins and, and, and, and you do have to segregate and you, you talked about this a bit, you have to segregate your feelings when, things are going badly in one part of your life.

From the other parts of your life. And this is something that I'm still working on because I think that it's really important not to get caught up in the difficulties of your day that you actually focus, okay, that's like a difficulty. I'll have to deal with that if that's over here and I've got to also focus on this and I can't spend my whole day about the difficult moment. I have to move on.

Precious L. Williams (43:00.57)

Right.

Lisa Zeiderman (43:02.227)

And the difficult moment is gonna be here and I have to move on and continue working and moving this along. And I think that that's something that is very important.

Precious L. Williams (43:13.307)

I'm loving that. I'm loving that. Another question I want to ask you, you know, we often are asked, how do we come across as so confident and having the confidence to advocate for others? My first, there's a pre question before that. Queen Lisa, whenever I see you, don't matter if I'm with Latrice, I'm with board members. like, I can't wait to see what Lisa wears. I can't wait to see her hair. I can't wait because you're packaging to me.

Goes along with your whole personality. You are so fashionable. I don't have to see labels or anything to know Lisa gonna stunt. Lisa's gonna stunt if she does it beautifully, teaching me how to stunt. And I know your clothes don't make you, you make your clothes. But is that part of your confidence is how you show up and show out in the world? And does that help you with your confidence?

And the confidence to advocate for others.

Lisa Zeiderman (44:14.749)

So, you know, it's interesting. think that it really does. So as I said, I was in the fashion business. So I do love fashion, right? And I adore clothing, okay? But it does make you feel good, right? When you're wearing something that makes you feel good, that you feel that you are going to advocate well for someone because you feel either super comfortable or super confident or it looks great or...

Precious L. Williams (44:19.843)

Obviously. Yep.

Lisa Zeiderman (44:41.649)

you feel that this is the right outfit to make that bold cross-examination, right? Or that bold oral argument, or you're going to stand out in some way. It is definitely part of who I am. There's no question about it. And I do spend time on it, okay? My husband sees me running around at night, figuring it all out, okay? It's not something that I leave.

Precious L. Williams (44:48.773)

I'm done.

Lisa Zeiderman (45:08.413)

for the morning to, you know, to like go through the closet as, and have like a complete discombobulation of our bedroom, okay? I have pulled it all out. I have put it all out. I have thought about it. And it's all there so that it's organized in the morning when I wake up. And, you know, I've already decided like, how do I wanna feel? How do I wanna feel in the courtroom? How do I wanna feel in the deposition?

You know, it's about how I feel essentially, but I, if I feel good in my clothes, if I feel good about how I look, it makes me more confident and then I can feel like I can advocate better for someone. So it does make a difference.

Precious L. Williams (45:49.147)

Come through.

Precious L. Williams (45:54.555)

I totally agree. And Queen, when I'm with my friends, and I always tell them about you, or you meet them, they're like, you're right, Precious. said, pay attention to her personality too. She's amazing. But with that package, it's so welcoming. But it's also to take everything I do seriously, and it's in the details. So Queen, when it comes to the power of the ask and asking for things,

Lisa Zeiderman (46:16.945)

It is. It is.

Precious L. Williams (46:24.667)

How do you decide strategically in your request how to be considerate of the person that you're speaking to to make this ask while also staying true to your goals at the same time and making sure that both needs are met?

Lisa Zeiderman (46:41.885)

So I'm not going to say that I'm always the most considerate because I that's not exactly what I would say people will always think about me for. I am very.

Precious L. Williams (46:50.715)

I see you outside of, you know, you being a matrimony attorney, we're seven ladies board members. So I see a different side than maybe your clients or adversaries or opposing adversaries. I get that. But also I'm sure you've made asks of people outside of that where you you were, you were thinking about the timing and things like that. And also what do you need?

Lisa Zeiderman (47:17.171)

Sure, I think you always have to think about the timing of your ask, okay? And you also have to think how you're gonna present your ask and what is the other person going to be thinking about your ask and are you prepared with the answers for the questions that they're going to pose about what you're asking for them to give, do, whatever it is, right? And I think that you need to be...

Precious L. Williams (47:21.733)

Mm-hmm.

Lisa Zeiderman (47:45.905)

Very confident in your ask. I don't ask for things that I think are impossible, frankly. Okay, I think that's the first thing. I might ask for things that are a little bit more difficult to obtain, but I don't ask for the impossible because I like to win, frankly. And part of winning is getting what I ask for. And so strategically, you have to ask for something that is reasonable, that is going to be satisfactory, not just to you, but

Precious L. Williams (47:54.65)

Right.

Lisa Zeiderman (48:16.061)

To the other person as well that you're asking from, right? I think that it's a give and take. It can't just be a take. It's gotta be a give and a take. And I think you always wanna know what does that other person need also? What can you give back to that other person? Look, it's not a trade-off, but it is a thought process that...

Precious L. Williams (48:20.517)

Yes.

Precious L. Williams (48:36.763)

Right, we're right.

Precious L. Williams (48:40.89)

Yes.

Lisa Zeiderman (48:42.075)

You know, you can't just be out there asking all the time. You have to be giving too. And so I think that you have to know who you're asking, why you're asking this particular person and know what you could actually give as well.

Precious L. Williams (48:59.001)

You all are listening to Queen Lisa because she is dropping straight fire and straight gems. When it comes to both of us being the co-hosts the Power of the Ad podcast, it was important that, you know, our personalities mesh well together. It was important that there was mutual respect and that we don't have the same skill sets.

I also think the power of the ask comes in so many different ways in every facet of your life. And so we want to make sure you all are understanding that. she's dropping gyms and fire. Queen, we know in the power of the as, sometimes you, you know, a lot of times you get in, sometimes you don't. What has been a powerful ask that led to unexpected blessings going above and beyond what you even thought?

Lisa Zeiderman (49:46.739)

Well, obviously they ask for my husband, okay? That, you know, I can't ignore that, right? And then the ask in terms of frankly, you know, starting my company. And I don't know if that was an ask as much as it was a thought process. And I had to ask myself, could I do this? Okay, because sometimes you have to ask yourself as well, right? Is this doable? Is this something that I wanna do? Am I going to be able to get up every day and do this?

Precious L. Williams (49:52.953)

Yep.

Lisa Zeiderman (50:16.179)

And that, I think asking yourself some of these questions internally to push yourself forward is probably the most important ask really. Because at end of the day, you have all these great people around you who are going to support you and help you and love you and all of those things, but you have to be self-motivated. You have to be able to ask yourself, is this what you want to do? And I don't really think people should be doing what they don't

Precious L. Williams (50:26.811)

Mmm.

Lisa Zeiderman (50:45.457)

Want to do by the way okay I honestly don't and I say to people this all the time if you're not happy in what you're doing you should be doing something else we get to live once okay that's my view right once and so you better be happy as you go around that one time completely happy now that doesn't mean everything goes well every day but overall you should be happy

Precious L. Williams (50:47.215)

Did y'all?

Precious L. Williams (51:07.225)

Yeah. Right.

Precious L. Williams (51:13.755)

I Queen, I totally agree with you and I wasn't happy litigating anymore. You know, I wanted to be the greatest criminal defense attorney ever. And I never really got that opportunity. And when I was, I came out in 2007, 2008, so we already know what happened. So I was grateful for my opportunities to litigate, but that's what I wanted. But this unexpected detour happened and it led to so many blessings.

Quinn, we ask this question of every guest on our show, so I'll ask you, why is the power of the ask so crucial for women, especially financially?

Lisa Zeiderman (51:56.327)

But you said it, close mouth, don't get fed. Okay, you have to ask if you do not ask, you're not going to get it's a very simple concept. And I every day. I mean, I asked on behalf of my clients, I asked them behalf of myself, I asked them behalf of my family, you're you're constantly asking and financially to get ahead, you have to ask you you have to ask you have to ask to

Precious L. Williams (52:00.185)

Woo!

Precious L. Williams (52:06.97)

Yes.

Lisa Zeiderman (52:25.115)

To get your bills paid. You have to ask to get your clients. You have to ask to satisfy your clients' needs. We are constantly asking. And if you're going to be afraid to ask, then frankly, you're not going to move forward. Because somebody else is going to be asking for what you want.

Precious L. Williams (52:42.841)

With less skill, less talent, very much.

Lisa Zeiderman (52:46.493)

So you gotta ask.

Precious L. Williams (52:49.591)

I agree, Quinen. If I were asked that question by you, that was the same answer. It is close mouths don't get fed. And the more you ask now, the less you will later. So practice asking more now. There was a time I used to ask trusted individuals, ask for speaking, paid speaking opportunities.

Paid training or to put me in contact with others and have everything lined up to make it easier for them. I did that so much that I'm so proud that the same people and even others refer me. It doesn't mean I stopped asking. I just don't ask as much anymore because it was important to show that pitching for profit, something that our queen Lisa just said, you have to ask yourself first.

Before you start asking others because it will be incongruent internally. And asking financially, we all see what's going on in the economy. We all see the big companies that are laying off everybody and their mother. I enjoy what I do because I never dial it in on stage. I love seeing, looking in people's eyes and being an engaging speaker. That's worth paying for.

It's worth paying for proprietary formulas and being able to stand up and stand out regardless, whether it's a PowerPoint or not. Finally, you all, we're so happy that you all watch, listen, and spend time with us on the Power of the Ass podcast. We've had so many amazing guests and we want you to check us out too. You heard what Lisa actually does.

Check her out, you'll see that she's been winning these major awards, not on popularity, but on results. You're seeing she's a super lawyer. You're seeing she's winning. She's winning all of these major awards that matter to attorneys. They also matter to other clients and prospects, which will make them want to come to her. It's because of that. She puts it out there. She shows what these awards and achievements are. And you also say a side of her with her husband, her child.

Precious L. Williams (55:08.847)

So this is a full woman. She's not just what she does. She's so much more. And every guest we have on this show, we hope to share the same. So check out Lisa on LinkedIn and anywhere that you can. Check me out on LinkedIn and our other platforms and keep coming back to the power of the Ask Podheads co-hosted by Queen Lisa Ziderman, managing partner of Miller Ziderman.

And Precious Williams, proud founder and CEO of the Perfect Pitch Group. Tell a friend to tell a friend to tell a friend, subscribe and keep coming back. We get better and better. Lisa, do you have anything you want to say?

Lisa Zeiderman (55:48.165)

And rate us, rate us.

Precious L. Williams (55:50.327)

Rate us, comment, do some things. You can even suggest guests too that we might not have seen, we might not know about.

Lisa Zeiderman (55:58.853)

Exactly. Love it. Thank you, precious, for being my co-host. Amazing. Amazing.

Precious L. Williams (56:00.997)

Thank you, thank you.