The Power of the Ask

A Therapist’s Guide to Money Harmony: Feel-Good Finance With Aja Evans

• Season 1 • Episode 19

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Join us on The Power of the Ask as we sit down with Aja Evans, a board-certified financial therapist and author of “Feel Good Finance.” Aja shares her personal financial awakening and how it led her to help others break the taboo of discussing money and emotions. Discover how to overcome money avoidance and overspending, and navigate family dynamics around finances. 

Aja also discusses the importance of creating a safe space for healing and aligning financial goals with emotional well-being. Plus, gain valuable insights into the work of the Financial Therapy Association and learn practical strategies for improving your relationship with money.

This discussion will inspire you to explore the cultural and societal reasons behind the taboo of discussing money and learn how to overcome it. Listen in to learn more about: 

  • Financial Therapy in Action: Hear how Aja helps clients connect their financial behaviors to their emotions and create healthier relationships with money.
  • Family Dynamics and Money: Learn how to navigate complex family dynamics surrounding money, including expectations and differing income levels.
  • Relatability and Healing: Aja shares her financial journey and emphasizes the importance of creating a safe, judgment-free space for healing and growth.
  • Workplace Harmony: Gain insights into achieving balance between career aspirations and personal life, especially for working mothers.
  • The Power of the Ask: Understand why asking questions about money is crucial for women and how it can empower them to take control of their finances.

About Aja Evan's
Aja Evans, a board-certified therapist, speaker, and writer, specializes in financial therapy and has over a decade of experience in mental health. Inspired by her financial awakening, she focuses on breaking the taboo around money and emotions, creating a safe, judgment-free space for clients. Aja is the president-elect of the Financial Therapy Association and author of Feel Good Finance, which was released this past December.

Passionate about helping people live their best lives while understanding their financial behaviors, Aja enjoys exploring new eateries with her two young children in her free time.


Important Links:
Savvy Ladies
Precious Williams' LinkedIn
Lisa Zeiderman's LinkedIn
Aja Evan's LinkedIn 

Lisa Zeiderman (00:05.463)

Hey, hey, hey, welcome to the power of the Ask Podcast, which helps you get what you need financially and personally. We are so glad you're here today. My name is Lisa Ziderman. I am managing partner at Miller Ziderman, and I'm one of the co-hosts with my dear friend, Precious Williams. Hi, Precious.


Precious LaTonia Williams (00:41.786)

My name is Precious Williams. I'm the killer pitch master and the CEO of the Perfect Pitch Group. So welcome back. This week, we're excited to introduce you to our queen, Asia Evans. And let me introduce a little about Asia Evans. So get y'all a little wet, your appetite a bit. Asia Evans is a board certified therapist, speaker and writer who specializes in financial therapy and has over a decade of experience in mental health.

Inspired by her financial awakening, she focuses on breaking the taboo around money and emotions, creating a safe, judgment-free space for clients. Asia is the president-elect of the Financial Therapy Association and author of Feel Good Finance, which was released this past December.

Passionate about helping people live their best lives while understanding their financial behaviors, also enjoys exploring new eateries. She's a foodie with her two young children in her free time. We're so happy to have you with us today, Asia. To kick us off, tell us a little bit about yourself that we haven't said yet.


Aja, Financial Therapist (01:50.373)

Well, I feel like whenever this happens, I have the desire to be like, you know, when you're in those group settings and they're like, tell us a secret that no one would ever know about you. So that's where my mind went when you just said that. So I'm to tell you a secret that nobody knows about me. But first, I just want to thank both of you so much for having me here. I'm so excited to dive in and just talk about a topic that I feel like the ladies are not talking enough about. So I'm really excited to dive in. But my little secret is that I have to sleep with socks on.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I am NOT a barefoot queen in the bedroom. I'm like, I'm like a tozy warm toe and I sleep with my socks on and people like what do you do? I pack them in my bag when I go away. It is part of the packing list always so yeah, I sleep with my socks on I am a clinically trained therapist. I love talking about money and emotions I'm so proud of my book feel good finance that's out and I'm just really happy to be here


Lisa Zeiderman (02:45.935)

I love that. Okay, I have to say sometimes I sleep with my socks on, but only when we're we haven't have our heat working or something. So otherwise those socks are off. All right. So Asia, your journey into financial therapy was sparked by your financial awakening. Can you share more about what that financial awakening is or was and how it shaped your career?


Aja, Financial Therapist (03:12.113)

Yeah, so I would say my financial awakening definitely just put a huge pivot into my career. So I have been a therapist at this point for almost 15 years. I've been working in mental health for a very long time, love mental health. I've worked in all different types of setting, pretty much almost anything that you can think about when it comes to mental health. I have been in that kind of capacity throughout my career. And my financial awakening really came when I was in my mid 20s, living in New York City.

Feeling so excited about my, what I defined as a high paying job at the time. And if you read the book, it literally is $60,000. $60,000 to me was a lot of money. I didn't have any kids. I did have student loan, but it was just me. And I was like, that's plenty of money. And what I quickly learned is that when you were in New York, when you were going to brunch, trying to get your nails done, getting your hair done, paying for a car, which I was, paying rent, paying bills, all of it, and trying to live your best life, that money goes quick. That money goes quick. And I did not understand why I couldn't keep up with some of my friends who had been working longer than I had, who were in their fields where, you know, there is a little bit more money than in mental health. And I just couldn't understand why I felt bad about it. And that was the beginning of my awakening to understand, hey, just because I can't afford something, why does it feel like I feel bad about myself?

And that's when I began to connect the two and really dive into financial therapy and dive into what it could offer and how I could offer it to my clients. So it really was a huge pivot in my career. I had no idea I would be able to write a book. I wrote a book. I am now the president of the FTA now that we're into 2025. So it really just changed my whole. Outlook on my career, what was possible, and then also how I deal with my own money emotions.


Precious LaTonia Williams (05:08.49)

Quinn, I'm so glad that you brought that up. And as a board certified therapist specializing in financial therapy, what are some of the most common challenges that your clients face regarding money and emotions, especially over the last five years? Has there been a change?


Aja, Financial Therapist (05:25.251)

Yeah, yeah, I mean, over the last five years, 100 % there has been a change. There's been a huge change in how we talk about money. I feel like we are a lot more open to these conversations. We're getting a lot more information about the importance of negotiating, the importance of talking about salaries or talking about your money to your friends and your loved ones. But the things that I see the most that come into my office are people who are avoiding their money. So it does not matter.


how much money you make. I think there's a misconception that when we are talking about money in these types of ways, that people don't have any, or that they don't have enough and that is uncomfortable. There are a lot of people who are making a lot of money who are avoiding their money. And that's really a major problem, especially when we start talking about women, especially when we start talking about pay gaps and what happens with life expectancy gaps, right? Women tend to outlive men. And if you're in a heterosexual


marriage, it's kind of important for you to know where the money is, what to do with it, and how to navigate it. So money avoidance is definitely on the top of the list, overspending, of course. And then sometimes it's, hey, how do I navigate my family dynamics with money? What if I'm making more? What if there are expectations of me in the financial realm? How do I handle that and how do I navigate it?


Lisa Zeiderman (06:46.867)

Aisha, you've made it your mission to help people break the taboo of discussing money and emotions. Why do you think this taboo exists? And what is the taboo exactly? And then how do we overcome it?


Aja, Financial Therapist (07:03.251)

Yeah, so I would say first the taboo exists because this is like an entrenched in culture and society issue. It has been really taboo to share how much money you have. There was a time in the world where it's like you didn't wanna be too braggy. You wanted to stay humble. You didn't wanna show off where you were or how well you were doing. It was frowned upon. And times have a little bit changed where people are a little bit more flashier with what they have or.


what they can afford. And now, especially with social media, you see it. But the thing is, is that we don't always know how people got to that place. We don't always know what is allowing them to look a certain way. For some people, you could be buried in a mountain of debt, but looking like a million bucks to a place where people assume that you are doing really well financially. And that can be really complex for people. So I think the narratives of money being taboo and secret and private don't tell anyone.


Precious LaTonia Williams (07:41.449)

Hmm.


Aja, Financial Therapist (08:02.471)

has really been perpetuated by our family cultures, our societal culture, and just how we think about money in general. And then what do we do about it? I mean, exactly what we're doing here, you get loud, you get prouder about what's going on with your finances. Now for some people that does not mean I do not want you sitting on your soapbox yelling to everybody, hey, this is my salary, this is what I paid for something. However, it can start with,


a trusted relationship with a friendship or with a colleague when you're like, Hey, I'm really thinking about getting a new job. What, what's the market rate that's going to be really important. And you would have no idea and potentially be at the end of it, like the lower end of a scale of pay. If you didn't know to start asking some questions around money, if you were feeling too shy. So what I really encourage people to do is to ask a friend, a colleague, people that they feel comfortable with and trust.


hey, do you mind if we talk about money? You know, get some consent. And if they're like, yeah, I would love to talk about it, then you can dive in. Because a lot of us want to talk about it. There's so much mystery behind it. And I want people to pull back the curtain and say, yeah, actually, let's talk about money. Now my friends definitely know. They're like, Asia's definitely going to talk about money. I'm like, great, I am.


Precious LaTonia Williams (09:22.61)

I am so glad that you said that. feel like over the last few years, the world has gotten a lot colder, a lot colder. We have people that are losing their jobs or their businesses aren't making as much or the math isn't mapping. And so there are people who are flashy and then there's some people who are retreating and don't want to talk about anything. So you emphasize all about creating a safe judgment free space for your work.


How do you ensure with what people are going through right now that they feel comfortable talking to you about their financial challenges?


Aja, Financial Therapist (10:01.137)

Yeah, so one thing first I would say is like, I am clearly out there in the world, like I am a financial therapist. So you kind of know what you're getting yourself into when you're stepping through my door to come literally sit on my couch and have a conversation with me. So that's very helpful. But I also think it's relatability. I don't mind sharing a little bit about myself or my story and having people understand that you are not alone. It may not be me.


but there is somebody here who has navigated this in some way, shape or form. We're just not talking about it. Things that help me, of course, are confidentiality, right? I'm legally bound not to be sharing this with anybody else, and I don't want to because what I wanna do is really get rid of shame, break up shame, really help people step out of that isolation that shame creates.


to feel better and more empowered about their money and talking about it. So those few things kind of really helped me create a judgment-free space and also let people know that they are not the only ones. And sometimes some of the clients that I see who have sat in the same position that they've been in are going through something similar.


Precious LaTonia Williams (11:12.553)

Mm-hmm.


Lisa Zeiderman (11:14.686)

Asia, you're the president-elect of the Financial Therapy Association. Now I'm gonna ask you, first of all, to tell me what is this association, where is it located, what does it do? And then how has this role shaped your approach to financial therapy and what changes do you hope to see overall in the industry itself?


Aja, Financial Therapist (11:40.647)

Yeah, so I can really accredit a lot of where I'm at as a financial therapist to the FTA. So the Financial Therapy Association is a national association that brings together people who are really trying to focus on the connection between money and emotions, to really dive into your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and your relationship with money to be able to.


live your best life, to put yourself in a position where you are stewarding your wealth in a way that feels really good to you and healthy, as well as making sure that you're leaving room for understanding that every human has baggage. We all have experiences that have been difficult. And how do we make sure that you are coping with some of the stuff that you carry every day in a way that does not interrupt your money as much, right? So the FTA really is focused on


doing research. have a journal of financial therapy, making sure that we're getting evidence-based practices out there. So I owe a lot of, you know, where I'm at today and my understanding of financial therapy to the community of people, members and providers who really poured into me when I was just learning about financial therapy in general. it's national. We invite people who are really trying to dive into this. So it is made up of people who are interested, of course, but


There are therapists where I'm coming from on the mental health side. There are financial professionals who are CFPs or in banking or CFAs and financial advisors. So it really is the coming together of two fields that I feel like have been thought of as there's no connection there, right? Like there's that antiquated traditional money advice that says money isn't emotional. I'm like, well, we couldn't be more wrong about that. And if you talk to


a financial professional, I know what my clients are saying, but if you talk to somebody who's solely supposed to be just dealing with the numbers, they'll tell you that the emotions are coming up in their meetings, in their client meetings, knowing that how do you prepare to make sure your kid's okay? How do you make sure that you're prepped for things that could happen? As state planning, all of that is very emotional. So to me, you cannot separate the two. And that's what the FTA is doing is we're bringing together people


Aja, Financial Therapist (14:02.823)

to have these kinds of conversations and support each other, whether that means a referral or just somewhere to be like, hey, I did this, like, what do you think about that? And bounce ideas off each other.


Precious LaTonia Williams (14:13.492)

That's also the power of the ask right there too. Queen Asia, I just want to take a pause for the cause because I don't think anybody knows you and I were in the crew together. We were in the same cohort in the crew and I just want to say how proud I am of you.


Aja, Financial Therapist (14:23.515)

Yes!


Aja, Financial Therapist (14:31.687)

Thank you.


Precious LaTonia Williams (14:31.732)

the things that we talked about in the crew program, winning the fearless fund grant. And to see you now, I just have to take a pause and say, congratulations. I mean, you wrote a book called, what? Feel Good Finances. I'm like, you can really feel good about your finances? You can feel good. And that's why I love the title alone. And it was just released this December. So what inspired you to write this book?


Aja, Financial Therapist (14:44.349)

Thank you.


Aja, Financial Therapist (14:50.509)

Yes!


Aja, Financial Therapist (14:54.375)

Yeah. Yes.


Precious LaTonia Williams (15:01.384)

Like write this book at that time. And then what do you hope that your readers or organizations who will purchase this book, what do hope that they'll take away from you?


Aja, Financial Therapist (15:14.225)

Yeah, so I think a lot of the story that I shared with you about my own financial awakening really was the catalyst to me realizing how much people needed to have access to understand their relationship with money. So feel good finance is less about financial education and more about understanding your unique relationship with money. It's about unpacking the historical context of your life and how that has influenced your own personal context, how that has


impacted your family and then the way that you think and believe around money. So my book really is just dissecting for people, hey, why do I keep doing that? What's coming up for me? Why do I feel this way when this certain money thing comes up in my life? I want to understand myself better. And that's what feel good finance is doing. It's taking people on a journey of untangling their relationship with money so that when you get paid, when you get that money, when you're


feeling great about leveling up in your career that you know exactly what to do with your money because you know what your goals are and you know where you're rooted in your values. So that's really what feel good finances is about and is really just trying to tell people like, I just want you to be intentional with your money. And sometimes you need to look at your emotional state to then be intentional about your money.


Lisa Zeiderman (16:33.472)

You know, it's interesting. think that basically no matter how little or how much money you have, there is still so much anxiety associated with money. Do I have enough to retire? Do I have enough, you know, if there's going to be an emergency, do I have enough if I'm going to get sick? Do I have enough to, you know, cover the bills for my children? Do all of these different things, right? To me,


There is so much anxiety about money per se. And I think it's so interesting that you are integrating mental health and financial planning together. What are the strategies that you are helping your clients use to align their financial goals with their emotional well-being? How do you get them to, frankly, I want to know this, how do you get them to feel more


Precious LaTonia Williams (17:16.5)

Yep.


Lisa Zeiderman (17:32.874)

relaxed about their financial situation. That's really what I want to know.


Precious LaTonia Williams (17:34.048)

No!


Aja, Financial Therapist (17:34.173)

Mm-hmm.


Aja, Financial Therapist (17:40.421)

Yeah, so I can kind of walk you through what it looks like when I'm when I'm working with someone. So when I first start seeing somebody, a lot of what we're doing in the beginning of the sessions are historical information. It's hey, what was your first money memory? When did you get your first job? What has money represented to you? What are your money beliefs? Like literally walk me through your whole life up until now around money.


Did you go to college? Did you not trade school who paid for it? How was money talked about in your life all of that and during that time what I'm really trying to do is pick out patterns is to pick out Hey, okay. Mom was doing that. Okay noted, you know dad talked about this way grandma or auntie brought this up to you you went through that experience and what we do after we kind of like, you know, I always say downloaded the information to me is then


we can talk about what's happening now and what their goals are now and how those patterns or those cycles may be helping their goals or hindering their goals. So I am not going to be doing any of the financial planning in terms of moving money, right? I am on the mental health, emotional side of it. I'm not touching your money like that. We're going to look at it. Definitely. You're going to tell me about it. 100%. I want to know, Hey,


Precious LaTonia Williams (18:52.916)

Let's do it.


Aja, Financial Therapist (19:01.927)

How much do you make? What do your expenses look like? How much are you, you know, dream big, right? What do your goals look like? How much do you want to spend on vacations a year? How much do you want in retirement? Do you want to pay for your kid's college? All of that so that I'm helping my clients be prepared to then have the meeting with a certified financial planner and say, hey, these are my goals and I know them because I was talking to Asia for the last six months and really diving into myself about what was important to me.


So we don't really think about doing that kind of in-depth work when it comes to money. To say, it's really, really important to me that I'm able to take care of my mom who's sick, or I really want to be able to set up a special needs trust for my cousin who may have different needs or abilities in their future. I want to be able to do that, and this means that I need to do what? And a lot of times what I hear all the time from my clients is that sometimes they just don't know what they want.


And I'm going to really, really encourage your audience to really think, what do I want? What does my dream life look like? And then from there, we can kind of dive into what's possible, what's not possible, what's realistic and go from there. So a lot of it is diving into the roots and the money beliefs and understanding what has stopped you or gotten in the way or been a barrier, as well as what has helped you propel you to meet your goals.


Precious LaTonia Williams (20:32.766)

I'm kind of blown away right now. I am blown away by you and I'm blown away with your practice. And you haven't been in the mental health industry for over a decade. I want to share something because I'd really love to know your thoughts. My mother and I are developing a relationship with each other. And it's been 30 plus years of fits and starts between us.


Aja, Financial Therapist (20:49.363)

Mm-hmm.


Aja, Financial Therapist (21:00.753)

Mm-hmm.


Precious LaTonia Williams (21:03.23)

And so as we were talking on the phone, we're just having a good conversation. You we're laughing, kiki. And my mother said something to me that blew me away. Two things. The first one was...


I should have spent more time focusing on you. You're the one who knows how to make it out of any situation. And because I had such animosity towards your father, I couldn't see past that. And yet you're the one who can stand on your own two feet and get out of situations or find a way or make one. The second thing she said to me was if she receives this,


if she receives this amount of money. She wanted to make sure that she sent some to me.


And in that moment, I didn't know what else to say other than, Mom, I'm not asking for money. Whatever you want to do is fine with you. And this is a real situation. I said, I'm not asking you for anything. Take care of yourself. And she said.


I owe you because I didn't take care of you. And I said, let's park this in the parking lot. We'll talk about this another time. have to go and have a conversation with a woman in Chicago who might want to hire me for a speed engagement. So I got off the phone and it was very powerful because my mother and I both suffer from a mental disease that is documented.


Aja, Financial Therapist (22:18.065)

Hmm.


Precious LaTonia Williams (22:48.264)

I felt no pain and no anger. And what I said more from that conversation was she saw me as someone who will make it regardless. What I wanted to say to her was I didn't have a choice.


Aja, Financial Therapist (23:02.291)

Mmm.


Precious LaTonia Williams (23:05.13)

But I did tell her I'm your child. And you taught me some things even if you didn't think you taught me.


So in that story, there's an intersection of like money and emotions and mental health and also maturity. What did you hear in that scenario? And is that something that comes up with children and parents and fractured relationships and wanting to come back to each other? Forgiveness is already off the table. We forgive.


Aja, Financial Therapist (23:21.404)

Yes.


Precious LaTonia Williams (23:38.046)

But now there's other parts now of the reconciliation and money and emotions and mental health.


Aja, Financial Therapist (23:43.751)

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, what and thank you for being so honest about what you're going through and what it looks like to potentially come from a fractured relationship and start and stop and then try to heal from it even through that. Right. Even though, you know, she's like, I could have been better. I may not have known how to be better. And I'm worried I didn't teach you anything. But you're like, but you did. Whether I wanted that lesson or not.


you taught me. And what I hear when you share that is that for you, the money may, you may not need the money, right? You're like, mom, it's okay. Like you take care of yourself. You do what you need to do. But for her, that might be her healing. That might be her way of how can I contribute to this woman who doesn't need me, but I know that it is important to have contributed in some way.


Precious LaTonia Williams (24:32.02)

Mm-hmm.


Aja, Financial Therapist (24:43.995)

And can she hear that even though she may not have felt like she contributed to you and growing up into the woman that you are now, doing this small gesture of giving money feels to her like a contribution, even if you don't need it. So that I hear that your mom is looking for her own healing, even though you may not need it.


And that is what the two of you are going to be navigating consistently. Cause it's not about forgiveness. And I agree with your point. It's not that right. And I don't, I think a lot of people assume that if you forgive, means everything is healed. No, no, no, no, no. You're trying to foster a new relationship with who you are today. Not the, was a child and you were a parent and you were an adult and I was a kid. Nope, nope. We're talking about, you like who I am as an adult?


Precious LaTonia Williams (25:14.004)

Yeah, we passed that down.


Precious LaTonia Williams (25:25.524)

Yes.


Aja, Financial Therapist (25:37.223)

Do I like who you are as an adult? Can we come together as two adults knowing that we've gone through so much and heal together and want to spend time together? And that is hard stuff, right? Those are the family dynamics that do come up in my office. And very frequently, because I see majority people of color, majority women who are talking about what it feels like to make more than their parents, what it feels like to make more than both.


Precious LaTonia Williams (26:04.254)

Ooh!


Aja, Financial Therapist (26:06.483)

parents, what it feels like to potentially double that. Correct and be there's some survival guilt in that there is, hey, I don't connect in the same way that I used to to my community because my life looks so different now and it's so full and I'm so grateful, but it is different. And I think people really struggle when we don't feel like we completely fit in communities that were everything to us.


Precious LaTonia Williams (26:08.894)

or most if not all of the family.


Aja, Financial Therapist (26:35.409)

And that's all we want as humans. We want to feel seen. We want to be a part of the community. But what happens when your life looks so drastically different on either sides of the spectrum, right? And that's what we're diving into. very often family dynamics come up in that in really beautiful ways and very, you know, ugly ways that don't feel good for people as well.


Precious LaTonia Williams (26:44.799)

Right.


Precious LaTonia Williams (26:57.408)

Thank you so much. wanted to just have a real instance where, because I want them to read Feel Good Finance, but also to understand that we can talk over issues, but a real situation. And look how beautifully you were able to articulate all of that through in a conversation that I'm still like, oh, we did that. So thank you, my queen.


Aja, Financial Therapist (27:19.719)

Yeah, you're welcome. And what I will say too is that, sorry, I was gonna say just add, like in the book, I use myself and like my actual clients as examples. So when you were walking yourself through the book, these are not people I made up. Like they may have a different name, but these are real people. And there's a whole chapter about family dynamics and what comes up with expectations and what do you want and.


Lisa Zeiderman (27:20.648)

Okay, so I'm going to move.


Lisa Zeiderman (27:24.95)

It's okay.


Precious LaTonia Williams (27:38.848)

That's right.


Aja, Financial Therapist (27:47.365)

It's all in there because these are real life examples.


Precious LaTonia Williams (27:49.29)

picking you up.


Lisa Zeiderman (27:53.303)

So I'm gonna move on to a topic that I'm not so crazy about. I'm gonna say that. It's not my favorite topic. So, and there's a new name for it. So I'm gonna use the old name and then I'm gonna give the new name. Cause I think I like the new name that I'm starting to hear much better, which is this balance. That's the part I don't like balancing your career and your family life. So work life balance, okay.


Precious LaTonia Williams (27:58.624)

Ha


Lisa Zeiderman (28:23.166)

term I find endearing and maybe because I'm very entrepreneurial, right? And it's not my thing. But I do think that there's something called workplace harmony now. And I am really liking that word workplace harmony or that phrase workplace harmony. So I'm going to say, how do you create workplace harmony, especially in


Precious LaTonia Williams (28:40.468)

get to.


Aja, Financial Therapist (28:47.709)

Mm-hmm.


Lisa Zeiderman (28:50.079)

a demanding and an emotionally involved field while you're taking care of your kids and enjoying your life and practicing and writing your book and doing all the things you do. How do you do that workplace harmony? I noticed I didn't use balance.


Aja, Financial Therapist (29:09.093)

Yeah, I have so much to say about this because right now in my life, it is not balanced, right? When you hear the word balanced to your point, Lisa, I'm sure you're thinking, well, if I work 40 hours a week, does that mean that I have 40 hours of like chill time, relaxation with my family, all that? Absolutely not. And maybe that is because I also have an entrepreneurial spirit and I have big goals.


Precious LaTonia Williams (29:18.144)

to me.


Precious LaTonia Williams (29:27.168)

I'm


Aja, Financial Therapist (29:36.317)

that really feed me that I want to accomplish that feel really important to me. So the harmony comes in full-time daycare and childcare. So early care and aftercare for my daughter who's in school. My son has full-time daycare. My partner understands that there are going to be times where I have something to do later in the evening. I had a book event, so I didn't do bedtime. I didn't even come home.


sleeping by time I got home. And understanding that when I'm able to accomplish these things, I mean, there's a lovely financial benefit that will come, right, to the family because of this work that I'm doing. It's not happening yet, but I'm hoping, you know? But there's also like how I feel. And when I wanted to become a mother, I really did not want...


Lisa Zeiderman (30:22.175)

Ha ha ha!


Aja, Financial Therapist (30:31.943)

to get lost in motherhood. And for some people, that is the goal for them. And they love that. And I love that for them. But that is not my goal. My goal was also to be fierce and to be really strong in work, right? Like you can be a fierce mama and I'm here for that. But I wanted to also be a fierce professional and I wanted both. So sometimes that means that I am missing bedtime. And sometimes that means that


I am putting off work and I'm like, I'll figure that out at another time because right now I really want to be present. honestly, whenever I talk to any of my mom friends currently, we're all fighting the same fight in different ways, right? That it is not a work life balance. And this is also for moms who are working in the home, right? Like everyone feels exhausted. My kids are five and three. Like there's no balance in that at all.


that there's no balance and understanding that, hey, I might not be able to show up to everything, but they're also going to have a beautiful role model of a mother who said, hey, I don't know the first thing about writing a book, but I'm going to figure out how to write a book when you were one in three. I think about that now. I'm like, wow, what a badass. Like that's how I feel about myself. And that is amazing and so important. And if I can impart that on my kids that


You can go after any goal that you want. You just have to try. That is equally as important to me as spending as much time as possible with them. So no balance, but yeah, thank you. I'm like, we're trying, we're trying.


Lisa Zeiderman (32:04.887)

Good for you.


Good for you.


Precious LaTonia Williams (32:12.064)

I'm with Queen Lisa and Queen Asia. Yes, okay. So we've been in all, all three of us have been in our careers for a significant amount of


Queen Asia, what advice would you have for someone who's just at the very beginning of exploring their relationship with their money and their emotions and they have no idea where to start?


Aja, Financial Therapist (32:36.059)

Yeah, so there's so many, I'm like going through the list of different activities and things I would say. So I'm gonna tell you what, if you buy this book, you will start the process whether you wanted to or not. And it's just the truth. And it's gonna feel like I'm holding your hand and you're gonna feel warm and you're gonna have reflection and you might shed some tears, you might have some aha moments, but.


I wrote a book specifically because I feel like you can do it in private, right? You can do it on your own time, at your own pace, without anybody having to bear witness to what you are going through as you are reading the book. So that step one. But if that feels like too much right now, what I would say is write a letter to money. And I learned this through a Trauma of Money course that I took. Write a dear money letter and just let...


the thoughts and feelings flow. And after that, allow yourself to wonder and ponder and reflect, hey, what came up for me? Is that something new? Has this been coming up? How did I feel about it? And that will kind of be a guide and a gauge for you to understand where you're at and what kind of work may need to be done for you. And if you need support, right, talk to people about it. So yeah, just starting by asking yourself, like, what do I do when I'm emotional?


Do I spend money? What's going on there? What was my first money memory? What do I want in my life? What are my financial hopes and dreams? Am I looking at my money? Does money freak me out, you know?


Lisa Zeiderman (34:14.698)

Very interesting. can't wait to read this book, by the way. I really can't. OK, so we have a question that we ask all of our guests. I think it's one of the most important questions that we'll ask each time. And here's the question. Why is the power of the ask crucial to women, especially financially?


Precious LaTonia Williams (34:17.598)

Me too.


Aja, Financial Therapist (34:39.665)

I think you have to know what's going on. Financially, you have to know. So if that means that you are asking for more money, that you are asking to be involved in the money, if you're asking what's going on with the money, you have to know what's happening. And if you've taken a back seat until now, now it's time to start asking those questions. Now is the time to figure out, hey, I got to play catch up.


I'm admitting it, I'm playing catch up, what's going on? Where are we at? Co-worker, and I've asked my co-workers, I'm like, how much are you getting paid? Do you mind if we talk about money? What are you getting paid? And I will never forget this story, and this happened a long time ago. A co-worker of mine, we talked about money, we were talking about student loan debt, like we were very close, so it felt very comfortable for us to share. And she looked at me, she was like, Asia, I know you make more money than I do, because I know you negotiated, and I didn't.


And I was like, okay. And I was like, well, this is what I make. she's like, yep, that is more than I make because I didn't negotiate. And I was like, okay, good to know. You'll never not negotiate. Again, we do the same exact job. We have the same qualifications. Nothing is different, right? Personality, of course, but like, I just asked. I literally just asked. And it took me some prep.


to ask. took me talking to my mom about it and getting hyped up about it to then ask, but I did ask. talk to your friends, ask them, ask your partner. Women have to know what's going on with the money. Bottom line, I don't care where it touches your life, but you have to know.


Lisa Zeiderman (36:25.046)

Good for you. Thank you so much, Asia. Thank you for for for this. I think everyone should go out and read your book. It sounds like they should put on their socks, get into their beds, read the book and and and finish it with their socks on. And I really we really really appreciate it. And of course, thank you to precious who always shares


Aja, Financial Therapist (36:29.192)

You're


Aja, Financial Therapist (36:37.393)

Yeah


Lisa Zeiderman (36:52.308)

something really about herself that is so important to all of our guests. So really, thank you both.


Precious LaTonia Williams (37:00.096)

I mean, listen, this is the quality of the guests that we bring. It's Savvy Ladies Power of the Ask podcast. As you can see, better and better and better. Thank you, Queen Asia, for really showcasing the power of the ask in real life, in your life, by being able to negotiate in your coworker, knowing that that is what made the difference. You showed the power of the ask in action. And so...


Aja, Financial Therapist (37:00.253)

Yeah.


Precious LaTonia Williams (37:25.406)

Keep coming back everyone. The Power of the Ask podcast was created for you with you in mind. And when you start asking, you start getting. I'm so glad to be the cohost with my queen, Lisa Ziderman. And we want you to tell a friend to tell a friend to what? a friend. Watch, subscribe, and keep telling everyone about the Power of the Ask podcast. Power by Savvy Ladies. Thank you.