The Power of the Ask

Breaking the Money Silence: How to Start the Conversations That Transform Your Financial Life with Erika Wasserman

• Season 2 • Episode 10

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Join Lisa Zeiderman and Precious Williams as they welcome Erika Wasserman, one of only 100 certified financial therapists in the United States and founder of Your Financial Therapist, to the Power of the Ask podcast. Drawing from her personal journey through divorce and reinvention, Erika shares her signature Money Mindset Method and reveals how our backgrounds, cultural influences, and past experiences shape our relationship with money. 

In this eye-opening conversation, Erika demonstrates how to move beyond financial shame and fear to create healthier money conversations in every area of life. Whether you're navigating a breakup, planning for retirement, or simply want to feel more confident about your financial decisions, this episode offers practical tools and compassionate guidance. 

You'll discover: 

  • The Foundation of Financial Therapy: Learn what financial therapy really means and why talking about money feels so uncomfortable for most people 
  • The Money Mindset Method: Erika's five-step framework (M.O.N.E.Y.) for having productive financial conversations in any situation 
  • Breaking Generational Patterns: How family background, culture, and personal experiences create our money stories and how to rewrite them 
  • Practical Conversation Starters: Real strategies for discussing finances with partners, family members, and even yourself 
  • Financial Trauma Recovery: Compassionate approaches to healing from past financial wounds and building trust in new relationships 

 Important Links:

Important Links for Erika:

About Erika Wasserman:

 Erika Wasserman, the visionary CEO and founder of Your Financial Therapist, established the company in 2019 with a mission to transform how people view and manage their financial lives. As a Certified Financial Therapist (CFT-I™)—a prestigious certification held by fewer than 70 professionals worldwide—Erika blends her expertise in finance and international economics with her passion for empowering individuals, couples, and organizations to rethink their relationship with money.

She is also the creator of the innovative Let’s Talk Finances: Financial Wellness Conversation Cards. This unique tool features 50 thought-provoking questions designed to spark meaningful conversations about money, fostering financial clarity and emotional connection.

Erika’s academic credentials include a Bachelor of Business Administration (BBA) from the University of Florida and a Graduate Certificate in Financial Therapy from Kansas State University. Her work reflects a deep commitment to financial well-being, making her a trusted expert in financial therapy.

 

Lisa Zeiderman (00:06.664) 

Hello everyone. Welcome to the power of the ask podcast, which helps you get what you need financially and personally. We are so glad that you're here today. My name is Lisa Ziderman and I am the managing partner at Miller's Ziderman and I'm one of the co-hosts with my dear friend, Precious Williams. Hi Precious.

  

Precious LaTonia Williams (00:33.911) 

Hey Queen Lisa, as our queen just said, my name is Precious Williams. I'm the killer pitch master and the proud founder and CEO of the Perfect Pitch Group. Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back to the Power of the Ask podcast. This week, we're excited to introduce you to Queen Carrot. This week, we're excited to introduce you to Erica Wasserman. Now, you know, before we start with our guests, we'd like to give you a little background and give you a little flavor of who they are. 

 So Erica Wasserman is one of only 100 certified financial therapists in the United States. She's the founder of Your Financial Therapist. She helps individuals, couples, and companies stop freaking out about money and start talking about it with less shame and more confidence. Creator of the Let's Talk Finances conversation cards, including a divorce edition, and the author of the upcoming book, Conversations with Your Financial Therapist. 

 Erica combines honesty, humor and her signature money mindset method to help people rewrite their money stories. She is a global speaker, a single mother of three and a traveler who's visited 47 countries. got to dial that back. 47 countries, proving that money doesn't have to be awkward. We're so excited to have you with us today, Queen Erica. So to kick things off, what's one piece of advice you find yourself giving often? Maybe it's a go to quote, a mantra or a mindset that you always come back to. 

  

Erika Wasserman (02:03.911) 

Hey, first of all, I'm so happy to be here with you both. I know this is gonna be exciting conversation. So the one thing is, start the conversation. So many people just come and say, I don't know how to start the conversation, which is actually how I came up with the cards. Sitting at a bar one night, know, good ideas. They come in the shower and at a bar. And so I was in a bar. 

  Couple next to me was on their 10 year anniversary and they started doing like the table topic conversations. And that's when I had the aha moment is let's gamify talking about money. And so I created Let's Talk Finances because it will give couples and then the divorce edition, because if you don't do one, you need the other, is storytelling. So start the conversation, not accusing and what are you doing and how did you do that wrong? Storytell. 

  And that way we have more understanding when those really hard conversations come up. So my first advice and the go-to is start the conversation. 

  

Lisa Zeiderman (03:06.662) 

that. I have to say that this is going to be such an interesting taping because I've never actually really spoken to a certified financial therapist. Not surprising since you're actually one of only a hundred in the United States. And I'm very interested to hear what drew you to this field, how you found out about it, what was the coursework that you took and what exactly does a financial therapist do? 

  

Erika Wasserman (03:37.161) 

All right, that's a lot all in one. I'm gonna try, I'm gonna take it slow, but I'm also gonna try to give you a lot of information. I'll take you back to about 12 years ago, laying on the floor. I had three babies under the age of four, and I was in the process of getting a divorce. And during that time period, thankfully an older cousin kind of said, let me introduce you to meditation, because there was a lot of chaos, a lot of noise, a lot of transition happening for me. 

  

Lisa Zeiderman (03:38.983) 

It is. 

  

Erika Wasserman (04:05.779) 

And part of my meditation practice was three questions. Who are you? What do you want? And what's your purpose? And I was lucky enough to go to a meditation center, Deepak Chopra's Meditation Center. And the woman said to me, the Dharma, your purpose, might take years to show up, but just start putting it out in the universe. And so laying on that floor, I realized that my purpose was helping people through tough times, taking the higher road. And I realized that over the years that happened for me because of my mindset and my ability to have those tough conversations specifically around money. Because I have a finance degree. I grew up in a household that talking about money was normal with my dad. And it all started with like driving to the grocery store, two cans of beans or 99 cents, how much is one can? And again, I was good at math. So all of a sudden now we're doing the change at the cash register. And it just started like that. 

 When we started trading stocks, my dad started trading stocks at home on the family computer, I'm dating myself, right? And all of a sudden I started asking questions. And so talking about money was normal. It wasn't something that was abnormal for me. And so roller coaster of life, you guys have been on a roller coaster of life? Right? I know it. 

  

Precious LaTonia Williams (05:24.888) 

You know it. 

  

Erika Wasserman (05:27.733) 

So my roller coaster was, you know, graduated, went to work for IBM, did consulting, met the boy who became the boyfriend. We moved into an apartment in New York City. We got married. We bought the first house. Then we got to live in Asia. So we did two years in Japan. My first daughter was born there, right? We're going up, up, this ride. Like everything keeps getting better and better. And then moved to China, came home, popped two more kids out, three kids under the age of four. Divorce and left corporate America. So, shh. 

 There goes my ride. And I had to reinvent myself. And what I realized is the power of asking, the power of asking and knowing of options and opportunity has helped me redefine the next 10 years that followed that. And so in 2019, when I heard the term financial therapy, a lightning went through me literally. And I was like, this is my calling is I want to help others have these really tough conversations, but take the higher road. 

 Back to me laying on the floor with those babies crawling over me. And now I have three teenagers officially as of today, three high schoolers and thriving. So for me, it was really meant to be. 

  

Lisa Zeiderman (06:43.922) 

Good for you. 

  

Precious LaTonia Williams (06:45.625) 

They often say that rock bottom is what I built my successful foundation on. 

  

Erika Wasserman (06:51.371) 

That's where growth happens. 

  

Precious LaTonia Williams (06:53.283) 

For real, like when you talk about that roller coaster, I said, yes, been there, done that, and gonna face it all over again too. So what moment really made you realize that this work was urgently needed, especially today? 

  

Erika Wasserman (07:09.257) 

because I was watching others around me struggle and they were struggling because they didn't ask. They didn't work back to the word ask. I promise I didn't, I didn't tee this up because of the podcast name, but we're told not to talk about money. So what was happening is again, between my 35 and 45 years, right? Friends were getting divorced, losing parents, changing jobs, getting married, and they were afraid to talk about money. 

  

Precious LaTonia Williams (07:22.659) 

Mm-hmm. 

  

Erika Wasserman (07:35.945) 

because we get a relationship with money based on three major things. You guys want to guess which ones? 

  

Lisa Zeiderman (07:42.747) 

Let's hear it Erica. 

  

Precious LaTonia Williams (07:43.279) 

Family, childhood. 

  

Erika Wasserman (07:45.865) 

Yeah, background, right? That's one. What else? 

  

Precious LaTonia Williams (07:51.129) 

social media. 

  

Erika Wasserman (07:54.219) 

Religion and culture, mean social media I feel like is a culture right now, but think about, I'll give you a half point on that one. And how about the third one, where we going? 

  

Precious LaTonia Williams (07:58.991) 

Thanks for giving me half point. 

  

Lisa Zeiderman (08:11.816) 

Gender. 

  

Erika Wasserman (08:13.823) 

No. 

  

Lisa Zeiderman (08:15.623) 

Interesting. 

  

Erika Wasserman (08:16.597) 

experiences. But gender probably could play that I put that really in the cultural religion experience. 

  

Precious LaTonia Williams (08:24.771) 

Okay, I was just trying to give my queen a quarter point or half. 

  

Erika Wasserman (08:27.499) 

Uh huh. Yeah. I see that. I see that. I see that. But so my background was talking about money. I had a client, her background was they went indoor camping. You know what indoor camping is? Really creative parents. The power would go out. And so they dubbed it when they couldn't pay the electric bill, indoor camping. That was her background. 

  

Lisa Zeiderman (08:27.837) 

Hahaha! 

  

Precious LaTonia Williams (08:32.813) 

Yeah. 

  

Lisa Zeiderman (08:50.184) 

Wow. 

  

Erika Wasserman (08:52.691) 

It wasn't until, uh-huh, I see your face, precious. It wasn't until she was older, she didn't realize the rest of the street was an indoor camping. 

  

Now you add in religion and culture where women, haven't been able to, I could not live my life. My car loan, my mortgage, my business 50 years ago. It's only been 50 years that a woman can be on an open up a credit line. So confidence with money now add in culture of responsibility for people. A lot of my first generation clients struggle with this. Your parents don't have. 

  

Precious LaTonia Williams (09:26.617) 

That would be me. That would be me. 

  

Erika Wasserman (09:29.771) 

401Ks probably. It wasn't talked about what retirement resort they were going to, right? It was you are your parents' retirement plan. And then we're gonna add in experiences. And I just was working with a girl who just graduated college and she called me up and she said, I have some graduation money. I wanna put it in the stock market. But my dad gave me $100 in high school. 

  

Precious LaTonia Williams (09:36.047) 

Well, it all 

  

Erika Wasserman (09:53.119) 

and I put it in Bumble when it IPO'd and now it's worth $4, right? So I'm horrible at the market. You know, that's it. And from one trade, you're gonna all of a sudden say you're bad in the stock market? You picked a Bumble, you picked a dating app for your stock. Like how much research did you really do before going into it? Let's rephrase all of this and go at it again. So our mindset's really important around money and we get it, like I said, background, cultural. 

  

Precious LaTonia Williams (09:57.964) 

Erika Wasserman (10:22.091) 

and experiences, and then we don't talk about it. So what happens? We repeat a lot of the same cycles. The messaging that we're telling ourselves are negative because we don't have those growth opportunities. And that's what I do when I work with clients and I go into companies is really help people find growth to lead to better health and wealth because they're connected. 

  

Lisa Zeiderman (10:44.754) 

Fascinating, really, really fascinating. You know, your money mindset method is really the heart of what you do. Can you walk us through, exactly what that looks like in action, whether it's in the boardroom, whether it's to do with a breakup, a divorce? What does that look like? 

  

Erika Wasserman (11:03.403) 

So I crafted this when I was writing the book, because I really wanted to make sure that I had a framework for anybody to use in any situation, like you said, from the boardroom to the breakup room. And it uses the word money because that's what we're talking about. So I'm to go through the five steps. The first one is M, make it comfortable. What do I mean by this? Not when you're running out the door, know, late for work, then all of a sudden try and have a conversation. That's not going to be productive. If it's too cold. 

  

if you have a knee in, right? So time and tone are really important. So if you're gonna have that money conversation, make it comfortable. M, O, one at a time. This is not the time to start throwing in, well, we gave your mom $300 back in 2021 and she never repaid us. No, that is not the time for this. Pick one question that you're gonna work on and maybe you put a list together and the person you were having these conversations with put a list together, because that will get you to the end. 

  

which is nurture share goals. What is on both of your lists that is the one thing you wanna focus on and why is that important to both of you? So now we're at N. E, evaluate practical solutions. This is where we're gonna start brainstorming with yourself, with the community, right? With savvy ladies. 

  

with resources that are out there. I have a board of directors that I call, was a group of friends that everybody has a different skill set that I call on. So this is where you're brainstorming. And then why has have compassion? Say yes to compassion. Because again, like the college girl at 23, by saying, know, throwing out your whole relationship with money in the stock market is not being compassionate to yourself. I made a mistake when I was 18, right? And I'm working on it. 

And we all need to have compassion with ourselves and with others. So that's a framework no matter where you are, you can use. 

  

Precious LaTonia Williams (12:59.887) 

I'm for a clump. I'm clutching my imaginary pearls because that pays to me. So in your upcoming book, you share stories and scripts around money. What's one of the most surprising or emotional conversations you've helped someone navigate? 

  

Erika Wasserman (13:19.275) 

There's so many here, but I'm going to give you a little hopeful story here. So was working with a couple on a remarriage. They were not engaged yet. They were dating, looking to move into her home. And they came to me to say, this is a block before we get engaged, right? To take the next steps. And what was happening was his first marriage was very 50-50. They would come up with goals. They would... 

Respect each other, they had money and savings, they felt good. It was a trusted relationship. Her first marriage was a mother-son relationship. They lived paycheck to paycheck, he would overspend without consulting her, and she felt a lot of feelings. I'll leave it at that, right? And so now she's in a new relationship, they're gonna move into her home that she worked really hard for, and she wasn't sure how to trust. 

And so we had to work through how do you build a new relationship with somebody new when you have financial trauma? And a little bit of, I'll give you the end goal was he had to be a little bit more patient with her and understanding of building the trust. And she had to realize that this was a new person that she was trusting. And they got engaged in the middle of our sessions and our work. And it was super cool because they felt, yeah, they felt like they could now have the dialogue to take on the next step. 

  

Precious LaTonia Williams (14:44.687) 

Mmm. 

  

Lisa Zeiderman (14:47.484) 

So Erica, you probably know this. I'm a divorce attorney. So this is like the perfect segue into this. And I'm dying now to understand these divorce addition conversation cards to help people talk about money. Tell us what they are, why you created them, and why do you think financial transparency is so taboo, especially in intimate relationships? 

  

Precious LaTonia Williams (14:54.499) 

Hahaha 

  

Erika Wasserman (15:17.727) 

Let's go to the divorce cards because personal experience has shaped me there is all of a sudden you have to redefine everything. So Lisa, they come to you, they get divorced, the papers are signed and really they're done with you. And then what? You your financial advisor will say, here, let's go invest the money. But there's so many new things that you have to dream of and think of. And everything from who's my new beneficiary. 

  

To I want to go on vacation. How much money do I spend? How many days do I go? You're used to having a partner to bounce ideas off of even if you might not like what they're saying you have somebody to like, you know have these conversations with and so that's what the divorce edition does it's for yourself to go through and start Teasing some ideas of what you might want for the next chapter What who's gonna hold you financially accountable? Who's gonna be your trusted person right now and 

  

What's that next dream vacation or co-parenting issue that you're gonna have that you want to be aware of and get ahead of so that you handle it in a healthy way versus in an unhealthy way. And that could be anything from avoidance, people stop opening up bank accounts, they don't wanna look at their account, they lose the password, I got lost in the divorce. And all of a sudden, the snowball starts going because you didn't have confidence. 

  

in your relationship with money or to ask the questions that you need help. So it's okay to say you need help. 

  

Lisa Zeiderman (16:49.566) 

Great. 

  

Precious LaTonia Williams (16:51.311) 

You know, Queen, Erica, as you were speaking, I thought about a breakup that I had in 2010. And we were like freaking frack, always together. Always, we would go to stores together. I'd get my hair done. He's on the couch playing his game boy. Yeah, I'm dating myself. Yes, I know. right. Yep. March 15, 2010, I left my ex-fiance. 

  

Erika Wasserman (17:09.995) 

That's why I said Rolodex the other day and somebody goes, did you really just say that? I'm like, you know, contact. 

  

Precious LaTonia Williams (17:22.275) 

And I remember getting up maybe two days later and I went to a big box store and I'm just going through the aisles and I'm having a conversation. And I said, well, you know, what do you think of it? And it was the shock, the feeling of I've been having a conversation by myself. And then the reality, it took me a year to be able to go. 

  

to a store by myself and to trust my own feelings. And so that was 15 years ago. Let's be honest, it's been 15 years. And I'm much more comfortable. I can eat alone or I eat with people. I can go for long walks by myself. But there's also something else in there, the psychological plus the financial. I treat myself so much better today and I don't mind doing things by myself and going on vacations and things like that and doing the things because 

  

He may never come, but I can't stop my life waiting. And so I want to thank you for bringing it up because there is a trauma to breakups. I've never been married. I don't have children, but this was illuminating for me because there are financial questions I've never asked myself. And I've been afraid because I didn't know what they were. So I want to know what them cause. 

  

Erika Wasserman (18:34.251) 

Mm-hmm. 

  

Erika Wasserman (18:37.835) 

And after they printed the cards, I realized it almost should have been a singles edition because for widows it's the same thing. Is you had a partner this whole time and now you've got to redefine it. So it does say divorce on there, maybe I'll rebrand it. And the goal for the cards is next will be first generation, aging parents with your kids because these are conversations. 

  

Precious LaTonia Williams (18:55.299) 

Yeah. Mm-hmm. 

  

Erika Wasserman (19:05.215) 

that flow so many different aspects of our lives until death, but that's a whole nother conversation. 

  

Precious LaTonia Williams (19:12.527) 

But you already started the ball rolling with the one edition and then the divorce edition. And it just keeps going because we got to be real. Like breakups, long-term relationships can break up and all of that. But there are questions I've never asked myself. So I know they're in those cards and experience really is the best teacher. One of the best teachers in life. And the fact that my queen Erica has visited 47, I say it again, 47 countries. 

  

How has traveling shaped your money mindset in ways that maybe traditional financial training never could? 

  

Erika Wasserman (19:49.727) 

Yeah. So for me, traveling is my passion. It is, it's what fills me up. I love people. I love exploring. So I want to explore cultures. I want to explore countries. I want to explore people, right? I'm the girl that like wants to peek in behind everybody's house to be like, what's going on in there? What are you doing? You know? And so that's how the book is written. Actually. It's like a peek in because so for me traveling and honestly, I I've been divorced 13 years. I travel alone a lot. 

  

and I normally will go for a month in the summer when my kids go to their dads and people always say, how do you afford it? I get crafty, especially when they were younger. I would rent out my house, I would do house swaps, I would stay at hostels, yes, even at my age, you know what I mean? Like I would use my points for the airlines. I made friends all over the world now. I have couches that I could stay on and... 

  

Lisa Zeiderman (20:18.014) 

Thank 

  

Erika Wasserman (20:45.393) 

I use those connections because for me that's what fills me up. And so you don't need millions of dollars in the bank to explore this world. And if it's important to you. So for me, I don't need a Michelin dinner, I would rather a plane ticket. I'll fly economy, buckled up like this because I can then use extra money for the adventures that I want to go on or the extra bottle of wine when I meet somebody interesting. 

  

And so you can say yes to a lot of things in life. And I do a workshop called Build Your Yes Plan. But that means saying no to some other things. And there are things that don't have value to you. And so saying yes for me to travel is what builds my joy in life. 

  

Precious LaTonia Williams (21:31.139) 

I'm trying to travel with Queen Lisa and Queen Erica. 

  

Erika Wasserman (21:34.357) 

Come on, come along, more the merrier. I invite everybody, and you'd be surprised how many still actually show up. 

  

Lisa Zeiderman (21:35.742) 

The more the merrier. Exactly. Exactly. So Erica, we ask a particular question at the end of every episode of The Power of the Ask. And here's the question. Why is the power of the ask crucial to women, especially financially? 

  

Erika Wasserman (22:02.143) 

Like this is a no-brainer. I mean, if we don't have the power in our voice to ask about money and to have these conversations, to sit at the table, we're doing ourselves a disservice. That's in your career, that's with your parents, that's with your partner, that's with your kids. 

  

And it's hard. And I'll give you a quick story before we wrap up. So during COVID, I thought I can run, right? Where everybody's doing something outside. I hate running. It is not my thing. I'm never gonna run a marathon. I know I'm supposed to say never, fixed mindset. Guess what? I'm never gonna run a marathon. But, so I got to the end of the street and my head's down. I'm like lugging, like, ugh, this is awful. How am gonna even turn the corner? And I look up and there is a gazelle. 

  

This woman in her matching outfit, her little visor, her headphones in, and the ponytail that swished as she went, right? And I was like, damn you, right? Like just gazelle. And then I had an aha moment. I was how much people feel about having conversations about finances. 

  

I could make it around the corner. had the tools, right? My legs could go. My mindset was like, this is hard, your head's down, don't do it. 

  

I was the gazelle when we have money conversations because I've been doing it, right? And so when we talk about why it's crucial to do it, to have these conversations is you've got to just start and think about it as a hobby. You're thinking about running. You're going to have a twisted ankle. It's going to rain. You're going to make a wrong turn. But guess what? Those runners still come out the next day and the day after and they keep running. 

  

Erika Wasserman (24:00.339) 

I have never run a marathon, but shortly after that, I did a 60 mile three day walk for breast cancer. So like I figured out my own way of what I could do. And so that's what I invite you all to do is figure out what is challenging for you with your relationship for money and start, start today. 

  

Lisa Zeiderman (24:21.558) 

Thank you so much. We have learned such a great amount of information from you. can't wait for people to read your book and check you out and listen to this podcast because I just think it's so amazing. And to have these money conversations, which is really what Savvy Ladies is all about. It's about having money conversations. And so you are the perfect example 

  

Of what we all aspire to to do and to be and to have our clients actually Be able to have these money conversations. So thank you so much for doing this podcast with precious and myself 

  

Erika Wasserman (25:05.003) 

Absolutely, we could talk for hours. So thanks for having me on I appreciate it 

  

Precious LaTonia Williams (25:09.994) 

Yes, Queen Erica, it has been such a delight to have you and your snappy answers that are gained because you're just on a genius. And that was so obvious. And to our savvy lady subscribers, I want to tell a friend, a tell a friend of what? Tell a friend, subscribe, share this episode with others. As you all know, we bring the best guests who give you fresh view. 

  

points on financial empowerment and they go through their stories and what they've learned. So you never feel alone. So subscribe, share, and keep coming back to the power of the ask podcast co-hosted by my queen, Lisa and myself. And you know the drill. a friend, tell a friend to what? Tell a friend, subscribe and share. And thank you so very much, queen Erica for being such an amazing. 

  

Guest. I'm trying to hold myself down because I'm very animated, but I want you to know I want to scream because this was awesome. 

  

Erika Wasserman (26:12.843) 

Thank you.